I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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