I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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