Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
