I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We're too hungover to prance.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
