Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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