dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
