I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
