Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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