i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i wish my penis had a tongue
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins