You're my little dorito
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
