anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
