I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
