so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
