doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
