you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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