ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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