hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
