If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
