Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
