hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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