I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize