Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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