marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
