If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
