Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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