I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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