ugly people sure do ruin things
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
