it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
