Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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