We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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