it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
