I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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