the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
