a queef is a wish your heart makes.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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