Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
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She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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