actually, I'm a sock model
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have surprise drugs for everyone
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
