my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
