I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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