don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
