She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
