Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
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just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
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Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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