i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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