You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
