How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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