I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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