she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
