The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
