Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize