Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
