I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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