I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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