We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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