I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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