k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
