hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
