One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
