omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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