Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
