That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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