from now on my penis is your penis
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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