He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
