Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
