woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
